It’s been about a month since I turned 30, and I can honestly say this is the most excited I’ve ever been entering a new decade of my life. Maybe that’s an unpopular opinion. For some reason, turning 30 has become something people fear. Society makes it seem like there’s an invisible deadline where you’re supposed to have everything figured out—a successful career, the perfect relationship, financial freedom, a home, and a five-year plan already in motion. But I don’t see it that way. To me, turning 30 doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like the beginning of a new book – one that contains the life I’ve always wanted to live.
I’m realizing that life isn’t about the number. It’s about who you’re becoming. It’s about the lessons you’ve learned, the confidence you’ve built, and the person you’ve chosen to grow into.
My twenties weren’t perfect—and I’m grateful they weren’t. They challenged me. They humbled me. They stretched me. They taught me lessons I couldn’t have learned any other way. At 24 I moved across the country, at 25 I had a spiritual awakening that changed the way my mind works forever, and at 26 came the ending of a 7-year relationship leaving me more lost than ever and having to start over. Now at 30, I still feel like I’m starting over but this time, my life will be tailored to me, exactly what I want because I was lucky enough to have the opportunity and freedom to learn about myself and make the most of the lessons along the way.
As I reflected over the past decade, I realized there are a few things I have no intention of bringing with me into this next chapter.
So here are eight things I’m intentionally leaving behind in my twenties.
1. Caring What People Think
This one has probably taken me the longest to learn. For years, I worried far too much about how other people might perceive my choices. Would they understand why I wanted this? Would they think my goals were unrealistic? Would they judge the path I was taking?
The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will always have an opinion. You can make the safest decision and be criticized. You can make the boldest decision and be criticized.
At some point, I realized I was giving strangers and acquaintances far too much influence over my life.
I don’t want to look back one day and realize I built it around other people’s expectations instead of my own dreams.
From now on, I’d rather be misunderstood than live a life that isn’t authentic to me.
2. Comparing My Life to Everyone Else’s
Comparison is exhausting. Social media makes it incredibly easy to believe everyone else is further ahead than we are. Someone is getting married. Someone bought a house. Someone launched a business. Someone is traveling the world. For a while, it felt like everyone else was moving faster.
Then I realized something incredibly freeing:
We’re not on the same journey. The life I’m creating doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Over the past year, I’ve found myself focusing less on what everyone else is doing and more on building a life that genuinely excites me. Whether that’s growing my business, planning adventures, or dreaming about where I want to live one day, I’ve learned that my timeline doesn’t need to match anyone else’s. Comparison steals joy, but gratitude gives it back.
3. People-Pleasing
I used to think being a good person meant making everyone happy. Now I know those aren’t the same thing. There were times I said yes when I wanted to say no. Times I worried about disappointing people more than I worried about disappointing myself. The problem with constantly trying to please everyone else is that eventually you forget to ask yourself what you actually want. I’ve learned that healthy boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re necessary. The people who truly care about you won’t expect you to sacrifice yourself just to make them comfortable.
4. Perfectionism
Perfectionism has a sneaky way of disguising itself as productivity.
“I’ll start when I know more.”
“I’ll launch when everything is perfect.”
“I’ll post when it looks better.”
The reality? Perfection often becomes procrastination wearing a nicer outfit. Some of my biggest moments of growth have come from taking imperfect action. Not because I had everything figured out—but because I was willing to begin anyway. Done will always change your life more than perfect ever will.
5. Waiting for the “Right Time”
If my twenties taught me anything, it’s this:
There is no perfect time. There will always be another reason to wait. More money, more confidence, more experience, more certainty. But life has a funny way of rewarding the people who start before they feel completely ready. I’ve realized that confidence isn’t something you wait to have. It’s something you build by taking action. So instead of waiting for the perfect moment, I’m choosing to create it.
6. Believing I’m Behind
This lesson changed everything for me. It’s so easy to believe there’s a timeline we’re all supposed to follow. By this age you should have this or should have accomplished that. Who decided that? Life isn’t a competition. Some people discover their dream career at twenty-two. Others at forty-two. Some people travel the world early in life. Others build that freedom later. Neither path is wrong. I’ve stopped measuring my progress against someone else’s chapter. The only comparison worth making is between the person I was yesterday and the person I am becoming today.
7. Feeling Guilty for Choosing Myself
Somewhere along the way, many of us are taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. But I’ve started to see it differently.
Choosing yourself isn’t about neglecting others. It’s about recognizing that your dreams, your health, your happiness, and your peace matter too.
Over the past little while, I’ve become more intentional about building a life that feels aligned with who I am—not who I think I’m supposed to be.
And honestly? That feels incredibly freeing. You don’t need permission to prioritize your own growth and happiness.
8. Trying to Control Everything
If there’s one thing life consistently reminds us, it’s that not everything is within our control.
We can’t control how quickly opportunities arrive. We can’t control other people’s opinions. We can’t control every twist, every delay, or every unexpected change. What we can control is how we respond. I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing we can do is make a plan, take the next step, and trust that the rest will unfold when and how it’s meant to. Control often creates anxiety. Trust creates peace. As I step into my thirties, I’m choosing peace.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change my twenties. Not because they were perfect—but because every challenge, every mistake, every success, and every lesson helped shape the person I am today.
Growing older has never scared me. If anything, it excites me. Because I truly believe life keeps getting better when we keep growing.
Our best years aren’t determined by our age.
They’re determined by the choices we make, the mindset we cultivate, and the courage we have to become more of ourselves with each passing year.
So here’s to leaving behind the things that no longer serve us. Here’s to choosing growth over fear. Here’s to becoming the people we were always meant to be.
I’d love to hear from you: What’s one thing you’re choosing to leave behind? Let me know in the comments or dm me on Instagram! @themalleablepath I can’t wait to read your answers! <3
And if you enjoyed this article, be sure to come back next week! I’ll be sharing the eight things I’m intentionally TAKING WITH ME into my thirties!
With love,
The Malleable Path.