Shall I explain myself? I have officially entered my f*ck it era.
Self doubt? F*ck it. Not where I want to be? F*ck it. Don’t have all the answers? F*ck it.
It’s time I take charge of my life and sometimes that requires you to just say f*ck it.
My faith remains the same; strong and determined. I just feel less like someone who’s waiting and more like the person who gets up and makes things happen.
We are truly the creator of our realities, and I want to use that to my greatest ability.
I’m done playing the nice girl. I know what I want. I know what I deserve. I know the reality I am going to align with. Point blank period.
Last week I concluded that I want to approach my desires a little more aggressively. Not to say in a mean, cold way. I know who I am and I know my heart. But here’s the thing, I am ALWAYS the person who makes sure everyone is taken care of first. Only then do I take for myself. It’s always been uncomfortable for me to accept blessings and receive. I give and give and give with no problem until I’m empty. It wasn’t until the past few years that I realized this is a problem. You can’t give on empty. And for a cycle to be complete one must master both giving and receiving. Some people are masters of receiving. They take and take and take with no shame. Although some people may call them selfish, in some ways I’m jealous of that. It’s a skill I truly want to master. So, when I say I want to approach my desires more aggressively what I mean is, I want to confidently and unapologetically take what’s mine, receive the blessings I deserve and finally reap what I sow. We are all deserving of a beautiful life, so here’s to learning how to accept and truly receive love.
I am patient because I know what’s coming is better.
I’m not asking instead I am demanding.
I’m not hopeless because I know.
I’m confident The Divine has my back. To be honest, I think the universe was waiting for me to grow a backbone. Like the universe is saying “FINNAALLLYYYY JESSIE! Take what you want, feed yourself, no one is coming to save you. Your vibe AND your actions are what is going to take you to the next level”
I’m still adjusting but I am feeling good about being in my f*ck it era. In fact, this week has been filled with blessings. The universe has already rewarded me for just deciding to be in my f*ck it era. Every single day at work, someone approached me and gave me some kind of gift. I even had a sweet friend of mine come and pay my monthly utility bill for me! It was amazing! But this is what I’m still adjusting to. I’m not used to receiving the blessings, and I feel bad for ‘taking’ them. Subconsciously I always feel I need to be giving or give something in return. But the truth is the universe isn’t on a budget, and we are always surrounded by abundance. I’m so grateful for all the blessings I received this week. I appreciate all the angels that came into my life to deliver them to me. Cheers to embracing the full cycle of giving AND receiving.
I am currently reading “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” by one of my favourite authors Deepak Chopra. If you’re familiar with the book, I am at the part where he discusses local intelligence. This concept relates to the I or ego. He also explains non-local intelligence, referring to universal consciousness. Basically, he explains that the world out there is much larger than us. It’s important to learn how to listen and trust it. My ‘F*ck It Era’ is also about letting go. I am trusting because stress and worry are not the vibe! I am releasing my worries to The Divine. Hand your problems to God and watch what happens. In his book, he advises stating this: I release my worries to the non-local intelligence that resides within me. And if you think affirmations don’t work, well think again. I’ve been saying this all week whenever I’ve felt overwhelmed and people have literally been giving me gifts all week. This is larger than a F*ck It Era, this is a life lesson. Master how to let go and trust the universe.
It’s about Intention, Action, and Faith. That’s the code!!!
Through out my healing journey I’ve realized how incredible and powerful it is to love yourself and how much actually changes once you do. The truth is, you will never be able to receive love from others if you don’t truly love yourself. So that’s a great place to start and I hope that for everyone.
With love,
Jessie
The Malleable Path.